American Idols

STOP climate change. END human trafficking. ELIMINATE Genocide. STAMP OUT world hunger. With your help, we can MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Such commands and do-good drivel are routinely doled out in droves on popular television and college campuses alike, begging for almost godly aid in futile human battles. Can any one person ensure world peace? Any dollar? Any god? Of course not, but such programs as "Idol Gives Back" would have us think otherwise, placing such burdens upon the American demigod who is overjoyed to hear the news: "I can end world hunger!"

The concept of international charity is more selfish than its name implies; it satisfies the imperialist need to feel intransigently powerful. We see the starving black subaltern through American airwaves, and, although we may cry, we extract a strange euphoria from the fact that we can feed him for a week with just 75 cents. This is true power.

But while we sit around munching our KFC chicken wings and feeling good about ourselves, our well-intended pocket change perpetuates the problem. It spawns a society dependent upon parachuting breadbaskets. It makes the impoverished townsfolk more vulnerable to depredations. I can still remember a disillusioned George Clooney describing how charity recipients in Darfur had become new targets of exploitation.

Programs like "Idol Gives Back" don't give the poor a voice, they just give us a louder one - an excuse to party harder and revel in our apotheosis. Ironically, this is why we are "giving back." We rely upon the collective suffering of the subaltern for our own idolic decadence. So thanks a lot, you massive heart of darkness. Here's a few bucks to get you through the month. Your idols will see you again next year.

Idol: a. an image used as an object of worship
b. a false god